The Forgotten Four
by Dusky Feline
Summary: the life of a werewolf, Remus.J.Lupin, from child to adult. a story of love, friendship, pain and betrayal. sirius/remus
1. Alone

                                                                                  **Chapter 1 – Alone**

Disclaimer: any characters, places or anything else that you have heard of before do not belong to me. I own nothing! I am making no money out of this!

Remus Lupin sat alone in the carriage, his chin propped up on one elbow as he gazed out of the window. He was slender but wiry and strong, his shaggy shoulder length blond hair subtly streaked with silver and light brown. He had ethereal amber eyes, flecked with gold and green, his skin was pale and creamy, and he flushed easily. 

 Lost in thought, he contemplated life at Hogwarts. It had to be better than home. Remus loved his parents; they did everything they could for him, and loved him unconditionally. But life there was strained. They blamed themselves for his condition. They wanted so badly for him to be happy, that they themselves could not be happy unless he was. Remus couldn't bear for anyone to be sad. The thing he hated most in the world, perhaps even more than his monthly transformations, was seeing others suffer, so he had to hide his feelings, pretend to be happy, keep up the endless charade. 

 And then a man called Albus Dumbledore came along one day, and changed everything. He was the headmaster of the best school of witchcraft and wizardry, Hogwarts. He had found a way for Remus to attend the school, despite his lycanthropy. Remus had never been to a school before. Being a werewolf made that difficult.

  He had agreed to go immediately, eagerly. He knew this was his only chance. He had to form a life for himself. He had to get out. He felt desperately guilty for his parents, but he knew that this was the best thing for him, and that was what his parents wanted for him, right? They had sent him off with their blessings, asking him only once if he was sure. Well twice. His father had asked again, on the platform.

_"You don't have to Rem," he said, "no one's making you."_

_ "I know dad. I want to go."_

Three boys burst into the room chatting and laughing, rudely interrupted Remus' thoughts. He turned to look at them, just as they saw him and fell quiet. The one in the stepped forward, hand held out. He had short, very messy black hair, and mischievous brown eyes. Remus had a feeling his hair was like that all the time.

 "Sorry 'bout that, we didn't know there was anyone in here. I'm James Potter!"

 Remus hesitated before cautiously taking the offered hand, and shaking it.  Before he had time to say anything, someone else had grabbed his hand. He too had black hair, but it hung around his had in loose curls, just brushing his neck. His eyes were a sparkling dark blue in a pale face. "I'm Sirius Black," he said, "and this…" 

 The third boy had dusty blond hair. He was shorter than the other two, and chubby. His eyes were a pale, bluish grey. "Peter Pettigrew," he said softly, a shy smile on his face. Remus smiled back, liking the boys instantly.  

 "Well? What's your name, stranger?" the boy called James spoke impatiently, but not unkindly, and with a smile.

  Remus blushed; suddenly realising Sirius was still holding his hand. "Sorry. I'm Remus. Remus Lupin. He flushed even more, conscious of what his name meant, but they seemed not to notice anything. 

 "Pleased to meet you Remus." Said Sirius, letting go of his hand, a smile lighting up his face. "So, can we join you in here? Or are you awaiting specific company?" 

 "No. I'm alone." He replied, quickly changing the subject. "So, have you guys known each other long?" 

 "Nah, we jus met on the platform. Some stupid blond kid was giving Pete here grief. We didn't like his face so we helped out." 

 Peter smiled gratefully at the memory, and the three boys were soon chatting about all sorts, while outside, the countryside flashed by, an indistinct blur, veiled by the sheets of grey rain. 


	2. Across the Lake

Chapter 2 - Across the Lake 

Disclaimer: I own nothing! This is but for the amusement of others and myself!

***

 The boys, now clad in their school robes, stumbled off the train sleepily. It was dark outside, and they were feeling rather lost when someone yelled for first years to follow him, in what was probably the biggest, deepest voice they had ever heard. They spun round to see who owned it, and were hardly surprised to be confronted with a huge shadow looming over them. It lifted a lantern up to it face, to reveal a friendly smile, almost totally hidden by an abundance of thick black hair and a bristling black beard and eyebrows. 

 "I'm Hagrid," he boomed kindly "follow me boys, 'tis tradition for the first years to go over the lake. Come on now!"

 With that he turned and strode away, still calling all first years to him. 

 Remus stood, glued to the spot. He might have stayed there indefinitely, totally overawed, if James hadn't grabbed his sleeve and urged him to follow the others. Remus snapped out of his reverie, and had soon caught up with the others. 

 They were led down a narrow path trees on either side. Branches snagged at their robes and roots tripped them up, but the sight that greeted them was worth it. A great lake stretched out before them, and opposite, looming high above, was a great castle, dotted with yellow lights that were reflected in the black, bottomless waters of the lake. 

 The twenty or so students were loaded into rowing boats with no oars. Naturally Remus found himself with Peter, Sirius and James. Before they had time to comment on the fact that there were no oars, the boats began to move across the lake towards the castle. Remus soon relaxed enough to stretch out on his seat and stare at all the new sights. He glanced around at the other three boys, wondering what they were feeling. Pete was leaning forward on his seat, his hands folded neatly in his lap as he gazed placidly at the castle. Sirius was leaning back against the side, a tiny smile playing on his lips as stared into the distance, lost in thought. As Remus looked round at James, he saw the other boy was watching him. They both smiled and before turning away to view their surroundings again, but Remus couldn't help but wonder what he had been thinking. 

 When they reached the shore they followed Hagrid up another path to the castle. They stopped before a great wooden door studded with iron, and the big man swung his fist against it three times. The door creaked open, and they trouped through to find themselves in a spacious entrance hall flooded with soft yellow light. Hagrid was nowhere to be seen.

 "I am Minerva McGonogall," said a neat female voice, belonging to a stiff young woman who had just entered the room, "I teach transfiguration here at Hogwarts. I will return shortly to lead you through to the great hall, where you will be sorted into your different houses. They are Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, Slytherin and Gryffindor. They are equally honourable as each other, and I trust there will be no aggressive discrimination. Please make yourselves presentable." With that she spun around and left the hall, long black robes swishing as she moved. Remus reflected that she could be quite pretty, if let herself. 

 He turned back to his new friends, who were righting their robes and smoothing their hair. He joined in the ministrations, wondering what would happen next.

 "I wonder what houses we'll be in," said James quietly "I hope to God I'm not in Slytherin! They say that the nasty types go there. Gryffindor sounds the best really. Or Ravenclaw." He slung an arm around Peter's shoulders. The smaller boy looked pale and nervous. "Even Hufflepuff is good. They say that all the really nice people go there." 

 Pete smiled weakly. "Thanks James, that's probably where I'll be. Nice but stupid. That's me!" he was smiling, but rather desperately. 

 "Don't be ridiculous, Peter," said Sirius quickly, "Hufflepuffs aren't stupid! They're just uncomplicated. Its not the same." 

 Remus smiled to himself. The bigger boys had already taken on the task of looking after Peter, and it seemed completely right. "If this McGonogall says all the houses are ok, then all the houses are ok." He said kindly.  But he couldn't help wondering where he would be placed, and how it would be decided. He was desperate that no one found out his secret. No one would want to be friends with a werewolf. They would hate and fear him. He swallowed nervously, and tried to banish the unwelcome thoughts. 

 "You ok Remus? You look kinda pale," remarked Sirius. 

 "Yeah I'm fine. Its jus ­­­-" he never got to finish his sentence, because at that moment McGonogall came back. 

 "Follow me," she called, "the Sorting must begin!"


	3. The Sorting Ceremony

Chapter 3 – The Sorting Ceremony

Disclaimer: I own nothing and I make no money!

***

 There was a swish of material as every head in the Great Hall turned to face the new students. Remus could almost smell the anxiety of his comrades as they were shepherded towards the smallest, and only empty table. He suddenly felt too much in awe of his surroundings to be nervous. 

 At the front of the hall was one long table where the teachers sat. Four other tables seemed to be dedicated to the different houses. The walls were decked out in the colours of all four houses, and flames suspended above the heads of students and teachers alike lit the room easily. As he looked up further, Remus saw only open sky where a ceiling should have been. The night was fine but chilly, and the stars glittered coldly in the clear night sky. He looked down at Sirius who stood next to him, and found the other boy gazing at his face, colour in his cheeks, a smile on his lips and stars in his eyes. Remus looked back up at the sky, and felt his heart soar. 

 When the young werewolf came out of his reverie, an old, floppy black wizard's hat was sitting on a stool in the middle of the hall, singing. The first years around him looked either outraged or gob smacked. Remus could have laughed. But he remembered the Sorting Hat's words to the end of his days. 

_I may not be that much to see,_

_But I am the Sorting Hat,_

_I can tell where you should be_

_And much, much more at that!_

_Perhaps in Ravenclaw you'll come to live,_

_Where if you're smart they've much to give,_

_They prize their learning above the rest_

_If seeking knowledge that's where you're best._

_If wealth and power is what you desire_

_In Slytherin your thirst you'll sate,_

_ Gain and profit they inspire_

_Their ambition indeed is great._

_In Hufflepuff they are good and true_

_Hard work they do not fear,_

_So if honesty is dear to you_

_Your place is truly here._

_Brave of heart is Gryffindor,_

_Fear they seem not to know_

_So if you love good honour_

_Here's where you should go._

_So come and put me on your head_

_And I'll tell you where to go._

_For I'm Hogwarts Sorting Hat,_

_And I'm smarter than you'll ever know._

Remus sucked in his breath. So that was what they had to do? Put this hat on? He wondered how much it could see, and all his fear came rushing back. Would it tell everyone? _Could _it tell? He swallowed hard. Someone took his hand and squeezed encouragingly, and he turned to see Sirius, looking almost as nervous as he felt. He managed a smile, and hoped these boys never found out why he was so damn scared.

 McGonogall rose stiffly and walked to stand beside the hat on its stool. She began reading out names from a scroll she held open before her.

 "Abbot, David!" became a Hufflepuff. Next came

 "Avery, Jacob!" she placed the hat on his dark head, and after a moment…

 "_Slytherin!" _it yelled for the entire hall to hear. Jacob ran off to the Slytherin table, looking relieved. 

 "Black, Sirius!" called McGonogall. Remus gave Sirius' hand one last squeeze, and watched him go with apprehension. A moment later the hat roared

 "_Gryffindor!" _

 Sirius was greeted enthusiastically at the Gryffindor table; the first Gryffindor of the year. As soon as he was seated he turned and grinned at Remus. He still looked apprehensive though.

 The next Gryffindor was a pretty redheaded girl called Lily Evans. Remus saw James looking at her, and smiled inwardly. He lost count of the names to follow, and the next one to claim his attention was his own. He walked towards McGonogall with flushed cheeks and a painfully racing heart. He was _really_ nervous. 

 He reached the stool and sat down, and felt the hat placed on his head, where it slipped down over his eyes.

 _So, _said a little voice in his ear, _a lycanthrope. No, don't worry,_ it said quickly when a band of fear closed around the little werewolf's heart _I wont tell. You're a nice lad, Remus Lupin. There's more to you than meets the eye. And I don't just mean that you're a werewolf. You have hidden depths. May they be appreciated in time._ I like you, hat. Thought Remus._ The feeling is mutual. Now there's a good deal of mischief in you, and chivalry to, so…_

_"Gryffindor!" _

Remus jumped up and placed the hat back on the stool, and strode happily over to join Sirius at the Gryffindor table, to loud and boisterous applause. 

 When little Peter was called up to the front he showed no sign of fear, but for his white face and clenched fist. He looked as surprised as everyone else when the hat yelled its verdict.

 _"Gryffindor!"_

Remus had a feeling that Peter Pettigrew had hidden depths too.

 James joined them almost immediately, and they all felt exceedingly relieved to have not been separated. 

 The last name to catch their attention was Snape, Severus, a Slytherin. He was an unhappy looking boy, with black hair and sallow skin. Remus felt sorry for him, but no one else seemed to. 

 "Evil git," muttered the older boy next to Remus, "his family are always in Slytherin. Nasty lot, all of them. Into the Dark Arts." 

 The only other Gryffindor boys in their year were Frank Longbottom and Arran Patil. They were both nice, cheerful lads, and it looked like everyone was going to get along really well.

 When the Sorting was over, Dumbledore stood up, and, after a few precise, benign and decidedly odd words, warning of places out of bounds, he pronounced the feast open. 

 Gold and silver platters, plates and bowls seemed to melt out of the air on the tables before them, loaded with all kinds of wonderful food. Jugs of pumpkin juice also appeared, alongside heavy goblets and fine cutlery. The boys tucked in eagerly, hungry after their ordeal.

 When everyone had eaten their fill, prefects lead the first years of their house to their common rooms, and showed them their dormitories. The boys found themselves in a room with six four-poster beds. Their trunks were there already, and they fell gratefully into their beds, and were asleep almost instantly.

 _I have friends, _thought Remus to himself before the night claimed him. _Real friends._


	4. Transformations at Christmas

Chapter 4 – Transformations at Christmas 

Disclaimer: anything you've heard of before doesn't belong to me.

***

When Remus woke up, he didn't open his eyes immediately. He felt ridiculously happy, happier than he had been since… a long time. Where was he? This bed was strange. It was very comfortable, and strangely spacious. _Ah yes_. He was at Hogwarts! He felt himself grin as he opened his eyes to look around. Soft snoring sounds were issued from the bed on his right, and he glanced over to see James, looking strangely vulnerable asleep, with his glasses off. On Remus' other side Sirius was waking up, shaking his dark head and rubbing his eyes. He sat up and looked around. When he saw the other boy he grinned.

 "We're at Hogwarts!" he said sleepily, before falling back onto his pillows. After a few minutes he yawned, stretched and slid out of bed. He padded over to the window and opened wide the curtains. 

 "RISE AND SHINE, GRYFFINDORS!" he yelled at the top of his voice. Remus laughed out loud at the reactions of the four sleeping boys. James leapt to his feet with surprising alacrity, glasses already in hand, Peter hit the floor with a thud, still wrapped up in his duvet, while Arran and Frank sat up in bed uttering hoarse cries of surprise and shock. One after the other they turned accusingly to Sirius, who just stood there, hands behind his back, grinning cheerfully. Finding themselves ill equipped to deal with him so early in the morning, they just sent the occasional grumpy glare his way. They were all too cheerful to care anyway. As the other boys began to get up, Remus got out of bed and made for the door, intent on finding the bathrooms.

 "Where are you going?" Sirius asked suspiciously.

 "For a shower," the werewolf replied softly, stretching sinuously. He loved showers. In the morning he loved the feel of cool water on his hair and shoulders, coursing down his chest and splashing on his face. I the evenings he revelled in the sensation of warm water on his back, washing away his cares. 

*

When he returned to the dormitory, Sirius was waiting for him

"Be quick," he said good-naturedly, "I'm hungry!"

Remus flushed, and hurried to get dressed, feeling incredibly self-conscious in front of the dark eyed boy, without knowing why.

 They managed to find the way back to the Great Hall, where they located their friends at the Gryffindor table, and gratefully tucked into the large breakfast. They were all handed pieces of parchment, which turned out to be their timetables.

 "Charms first," James muttered, "with then Herbology with the Ravenclaws. That's ok. Then lunch. Oh damn, we've got potions with the Slytherins! Oh well. I wonder what our lessons will be like!" 

 The morning flew by quickly for the Gryffindors; everything was new, there was so much to take in. After lunch they found the dungeons, where potions class was held. The professor was a middle-aged man, with shoulder length brown hair streaked heavily with grey, and pale blue eyes. He was nice enough, but rather distant and cold. 

 Remus found the class interesting. He wondered if a potion could ever be invented for people with his condition. So far nothing had been found, and it was not for a want of trying. 

 He noticed the sad looking Slytherin boy, Severus Snape. He was sitting on his own, head bowed as he took notes. Remus felt again that rush of pity, and wished he could do something to help. 

*

The days passed in quick succession, progressing into weeks, and then months. The full moon came and went several times, relatively uneventful. Halfway through the afternoon Remus would be summoned to McGonogall's office. He was surprised at first at the curiosity of his friends; he hadn't expected them to notice, or even care. He found himself having to make good excuses for his absences. He told them that his mother was ill, or he had to go to a funeral. One weekend he said that there was a family reunion he had to go to. They accepted his excuses at first, but Remus was sure it was only a matter of time until they found out. 

 Dumbledore had already explained to him where he would go every fool moon when he had visited Remus and his parents. A Whomping willow had been planted in the grounds for one purpose, to protect the entrance to a tunnel, which lead up through a trapdoor into a small house in Hogsmeade, the nearby village, and therefore protect Remus' secret. The house had been empty and boarded up for a while, and now it would be put to use. There was one big room at the bottom, empty but for a wooden chair. There was a flight of stairs leading to a small hallway upstairs. Adjoining onto this was a room with a big double bed in it. 

 He would be shut alone in the house during his monthly transformations. Rumours that the shack was haunted would be planted in the village, to account for the unearthly howling on those nights. He was always taken there immediately, where he would remain, from the afternoon of the night of the full moon, when his symptoms were already beginning, till the next morning. He had absolutely nothing to do, but he couldn't remain in the castle, because of the smaller symptoms that had started. His eyes would change colour, the gold and green taking over. His canines would grow, and he craved blood and raw meat; his mood was bad and his temper hot. He hid it skilfully, through long years of practise, but he could only do so much. He usually managed to fall asleep, but his dreams were always dark, and the theme was death. He would wake up when the transformation was almost upon him, and quickly get undressed. He couldn't afford a new set of robes every month. 

 In the mornings he would be exhausted; sore and bleeding. The wolf always threw itself around and ripped at itself, frustrated at being locked up, wanting to be free, wanting to kill. 

*

 And then it was winter, and the Christmas holidays were fast approaching. Snow covered the castle grounds and a thick layer of ice covered the lake. Remus was happier than he had been in years. He had good friends, who cared about him and enjoyed his company. They played endless pranks on the other students, especially the Slytherins. Severus Snape was their archenemy. Sirius and James especially hated him with a passion, and Peter would have been terrified if he wasn't almost constantly in the company of the bigger boys. Remus couldn't really understand their hate. Sure, he wasn't all that likeable, and he was always sarcastic and rude, but couldn't they see that he was unhappy? 

 Before long it was the last week of school, and the register for those staying behind was being passed around. James was staying because a certain redheaded girl was, Sirius was staying because his parents were going away, and Peter was staying because they were. Remus was still undecided. The full moon fell in-between Christmas and New Year; surely they would be suspicious if he disappeared in the holidays! But his friends were so anxious for him to stay, that he threw caution to the winds, and wrote to inform his parents that he was sorry but he wanted to stay for Christmas with his friends. They consented readily, just happy that he had friends at all. 

 The four boys, Lily Evans and Amy Keith were the only Gryffindor first years. There were two third year girls, some fifth year boys and three seventh years. 

 On Christmas morning Remus woke up to see a big pile of presents at the foot of his bed. He just sat and stared. His friends must have got him gifts! He had never received a present from anyone outside his close family. He couldn't believe it. His parents had sent him money to get presents himself, and he had spent several evenings pouring over catalogues in secret, but he hadn't expected anything in return. He was still staring blankly when the other boys woke up a few minutes later. They gave cries of delight and leapt to their own piles, eager to start unwrapping. Remus nervously followed suit, and felt strangely tearful when he saw the things they had got him. 

 "No one's ever given me presents before," he muttered in answer to their questioning glances, his eyes stinging. 

*

 They had a wonderful Christmas dinner in the Great Hall, all sitting at one table, with the handful of teachers and other students.  The hall was decorated splendidly. There were several huge Christmas trees, adorned with real, un-melting snow and translucent, glittering baubles and stars, that nestled on the branches, staying there of their own accord.

 The full moon was three days later. He managed to slip away quite easily with out being noticed while the other boys were talking to Lily Evans and her friend. He would have to find a _really _good explanation for them this time. When he didn't return that night or join them in the morning they would get suspicious. 

 As usual the stiff young woman escorted him to the shack, and he was particularly grateful for her silence. Remus had been feeling the pull for longer than usual, and had become increasingly moody as the wolf in him fought to get out. He didn't trust himself to speak without growling. 

 When McGonogall left, he went upstairs and shut himself in the room, locking the door with a wave of his wand. (Yew, eleven inches, and the core werewolf hair, surprise surprise)

 Out of habit he took off his clothes, knowing that if he didn't do it now he probably wouldn't at all. He prowled around the room, the wolf already showing through in the lithe, sinuous movements. 

 It was much the same as any transformation. Except that the pain was doubled and the bloodlust three times as great.

 It started with the aching, the terrible aching, that began in his hands and feet and spread up his limbs and through his body. Then it felt like his ears were being pulled upwards and were tearing off his head. His fingers curled into his hands and claws appeared, springing from his knuckles. It felt like blades were being pushed through his flesh from the inside. His face would stretch and bend; his skull would be squashed and crushed. Every inch of his skin would burn like fire as brown and grey fur sprouted all over his body and his hair retreated into his scalp and neck.  His spine was bent over and stretched out while his knees broke and turned the other way. Every bone in his slender frame cracked and grew and bent and shrunk, ripping cries of pain from his throat. It started as the screams of a boy and ended in the heart-rending howl of a wolf. 

 When the change was complete the thirst for blood overtook him, and he tore and bit at his own body, drinking his own lifeblood because nothing else was available. He threw his body at the walls, growling in frustration. When he was too tired to do anything else he howled out his lonely heart in the bitterly desolate song of the wolf. 

***

   Poppy Pomphrey was the new nurse at Hogwarts. Despite her tender years her talent was renowned, and what she lacked in experience she made up for in skill. 

 Every month she went to the shack on the hill to get Remus. He was usually unconscious and always in terrible shape, but that morning the sight of Remus Lupin as he lay asleep in his own blood was one of the most terrible things she would ever see. 

 His naked body was stretched out face down on the wooden floor, his spine twisted in agony, his bruised and bloodstained hands covering his face, and blood pooling around him from the many deep gashes in his soft human flesh. The only sign of life was the barely perceptible rise and fall of his back as he drew breath. 

With a gasp of dismay she rushed towards him, kneeling at his side. With a wave of her wand she removed the pool of blood, before cautiously turning him over. It was all she could do to keep from crying. She conjured a stretcher and blankets, thanking the heavens that none of the students would be up so early. She took him back to the castle and up to the hospital wing as fast as possible, the stretcher floating in front of her as she moved.

*

 An hour and a half later, she sighed and stepped back from the hospital bed where Remus lay sleeping peacefully, dressed now in standard issue pyjamas, the cover pulled up to his chest. His hair had been washed, dried and combed, and it shone softly where the sun caught it. But none of this could conceal the tired look on his face, nor the fact that there was a plaster on his forehead and another on his right cheek. His bandaged arms lay at his sides on top of the cover, his fingers curled against his palms. She had given him a potion to regenerate blood in record time, and it would also help heal his wounds.

 Poppy sadly reflected that no one should look so tired while they were asleep. Her throat constricted and hot tears stung her eyes.

 Suddenly there was a nock at the door, and it opened before she could say anything. 

 "Could I have something to settle- " began a redheaded girl. She stopped when she saw Remus, her already pale face shocked. 

 Poppy hastily shoved a bottle into her hand.

 "To settle your stomach, Miss Evans." She said with lips pursed. Lily grabbed the bottle and fled, red hair streaming behind her. 

 ***

A/N: please review if you want more! Even if you have reviewed before! I need encouragement!


	5. Secrets and Soup

Chapter 5 – Secrets and Soup

Disclaimer: I own nothing you have heard of before.

A/N: please forget that Lucius Malfoy was ever in their year! He is older than them! The story has been altered! Sorry! Chapter three will be modified if possible. Please review if you want me to continue!

***

The three boys ran through the deserted corridors to the hospital wing, robes thrown on carelessly, over pyjamas in Peter's case. Sirius reached the door first, and would have burst through straight away, if James hadn't grabbed the back of his robes and given him a warning look. They stood there for a moment, catching their breath, before cautiously opening the heavy wooden door and stepping through. 

 Remus was lying fast asleep on a hospital bed, his face turned away from them. A shaft of sunlight from the window above fell across his pillow, shining on his hair. It looked like strands of living gold. His arms lay at his sides, heavily bandaged. As they stepped forward they were able to see his face. It was pale and wan, and it struck them how tired he looked, and there were two big plasters on his face.

_ He looks so tired;_ Sirius groaned inwardly, _he shouldn't be so tired…_ he collapsed in the chair at Remus' side, an almost comical look of dismay on his face. James stood behind him, his arms folded and his face grim. Peter stood to the side, looking nervous and concerned, and strangely out of place. 

*

 Remus felt himself being pulled unwillingly upwards towards consciousness, wanting only to sleep, to escape life and its many pains. But something was tugging at his mind, and would not be ignored. 

 Oh how he hurt. Every muscle ached, every inch of flesh felt bruised. He opened his eyes reluctantly. There was a shadow over his face. This was not normal. He was usually alone when he awoke. Fear gripped at his throat and chest, and he turned his head slowly, dreading what he might see. 

 Beside his bed sat Sirius, leaning forward with an anxious expression on his face. James loomed behind him, arms folded over his chest, his face serious but his eyes tender. Peter hovered behind them, his little hands fluttering nervously. 

 The boys saw Remus turn his head towards them, saw his eyes widen in horror, saw him dig his nails into already bruised and battered palms, saw him flinch as if he had been struck, before closing his eyes again unhappily.

 "What happened Remus?" James said gravely "Who did this to you?"

 "I… I cant tell you." Remus muttered miserably. "I'm sorry. Really sorry." With that he turned his head away from them so that they would not see the tears brimming in his amber eyes. 

 "Its ok, Remmie." Said Sirius gently, tentatively reaching out a hand to touch Remus' arm, but pulling back when the other boy flinched at his touch. "You can just tell us when you're ready." He continued nervously. Remus turned his face towards his friend, and gave a tiny nod, before squeezing his eyes shut, wanting desperately not to cry. _They will find out,_ whispered a nasty little voice in his head, _they will find out and they will hate you._

 Sirius watched as the pearly tears leaked out of his friend's tightly shut eyes, misery written all over his pale face. He had a sudden urge to take away all the unhappiness the boy was suffering. He wanted to see smile, he wanted to see him get up and run with laughter on his lips and light in his eyes. Would that ever happen? Would he ever be able to fight Remus Lupin's demons for him?

 "Can we get you something Remus?" he asked softly, "Breakfast maybe?"  

 " Do you think I could have some soup or something?" he managed, his voice husky. 

 "Sure," said James smiling, "We'll bring some up right away. Come on." He tapped Sirius' shoulder and swung around, pushing Peter before him. Sirius got up, with a last glance at Remus, whose eyes were now closed, and left the room, a tiny frown on his face. When he was gone, Remus let a sigh escape him. They hadn't questioned him. They hadn't pressured him. They hadn't demanded anything.

 _"You can just tell us when you're ready."_ He groaned at the memory. No Sirius, he thought. You're wrong. I can't ever tell you. You would only hate me. 

*

 The table in the Great Hall was already loaded with food for the early risers, and a few of the people who had remained for Christmas sat there, talking amongst themselves. No one paid much attention to the three boys as they piled food onto plates, although Dumbledore watched them, the corners of his lips twitching in a pleased smile.

 James found some tomato soup, close to where the boys usually sat. He grinned to himself. It was funny how everything turned up in the right place at Hogwarts. He filled up a bowl and buttered some toast, and loaded it all onto a tray, and made for the other two. He felt rather surprised when Sirius took it out of his hands, and shoved his own tray in its place. He turned, motioning for James to follow him, grinning slightly but offering no explanation. Peter trotted after them, his tray loaded with sausages, bacon, eggs and some pastries at the side. He enjoyed his food. 

 Remus had fallen asleep again in their absence, but as soon as they entered the room he awoke, and smiled up at them tentatively, amber eyes still anxious. 

 "Here's your soup, Remus," Sirius grinned proudly, "still hot!"  He waited while his friend struggled to sit up a little against his pillows before placing the tray carefully on his lap. The boy just smiled, and slowly began to drink the soup. The others took the hint, and tucked into their own breakfast happily, chatting between mouthfuls. 

 They stayed there for most of the day, just talking and playing wizard chess or exploding snap, happy in each other's company. Lily dropped by with Amy, but they didn't stay long. They were shocked at Remus' condition, but refrained from saying anything, although he couldn't help but feel self-conscious, and hope that they wouldn't spread it around when everyone came back after the holidays. 

 Madam Pomphrey had given him a potion to build up his strength, and by the following day he was walking, most of the bandages gone, but still feeling a little sore. His friends still made no demands for information, although James looked thoughtful at times, and Sirius could be caught suspiciously eyeing the students (and teachers) at the table at mealtimes. 

 Before they knew it, the Christmas holidays were over, and the other pupils were returning. In some ways it was nice to have everyone back, but it took a while to get used to not having the castle to themselves. They played countless pranks in welcome of their friends and enemies, and everything returned to normal. Severus Snape was as unpleasant and arrogant as the previous term, and the rivalry still rages, although Remus wondered what made the Slytherin look so miserable when he thought no one could see him. 

*

 It was not long before the snow was melting on the trees, and the ice on the lake was cracking and disappearing. Soon winter passed into spring, and as flowers were born anew, it was Remus' birthday, in February. It still surprised him that people other than his parents gave him gifts, but his friends brushed off his thanks.

 The full moon came and went as usual, and if they noticed his condition once a month, the boys said nothing of it to Remus, and as the year wore on they got ever closer, and spent every minute they could together. Sirius and Remus in particular were now inseparable; where you found one, you found the other. 

 They soon began revising for their end of term tests, spurred on by Remus, who wanted desperately to pass with flying colours, to prove himself worthy of his place at the school. Peter was panicking, convinced he would fail in everything, and it took all the help and support the bigger boys could give for him to pass, but pass he did, and so did the others. Remus got the distinction he had craved, with James and Sirius not far behind.

 Before they knew it, it was their last week in the castle, and everyone was talking about what they would do that summer. James invited the other three to visit him, and the dates were duly arranged. Due to the full moon Remus would have to cut short his stay by a few days, but he claimed it was on account of relatives visiting. 

 When they clambered off the Hogwarts express together, and Remus saw his parents standing on the platform waiting for him, he suddenly felt very reluctant to leave this world that he had mysteriously become a part of. But it was only few months, and he would see his friends at least once. As he walked towards his mother and father he grinned. 

 _His friends._


	6. Smiling Summer

Chapter 6 – Smiling Summer 

Disclaimer: not mine. I own only the plot, and even that is only partly my property.

***

"Mum, Dad," Remus said, almost bursting with anxiety and pride, "These are my friends." He gestured at the three boys in turn, "Peter Pettigrew, James Potter, and Sirius Black." He waited as his mother beamed down at them, pleasure shining in her eyes, and his father smiled with quiet delight.

 "Pleased to meet you boys," he said, extending a hand. Jacques Lupin was a mild-mannered man, who spoke in soft deep tones, rolling his 'R's and leaving his vowels open. He sounded French, and Sirius reflected that Remus sounded a bit like that, but his accent was less enhanced. 

 Sirius grinned and took the offered hand, musing at how similar Remus and his father were. It was almost uncanny. Jacques Lupin had the same pale gold hair as his son…almost. Sirius absentmindedly noticed that it did not contain the hints of silver, and his amber eyes were more golden and brown than green. Neither did he have that sinuous grace, but there was definitely a strong resemblance. And judging by the way that his friend was staring at his father, he loved him dearly, and was anxious for his approval.

 "So I understand you kids are planning to get together sometime this summer, hey?"

 Remus' mother broke through his thoughts. James grinned and nodded.

 "Yep," he said, "they're all coming to mine; hopefully they can come on Monday. I would've liked it if they coulda come with me now, but I have to go to Cornwall with my parents. They're going to a wedding or something." 

 Remus watched happily as James wrote down his address and phone number, talking busily. Everything was going brilliantly. He took a step backward, happy just to observe. Lily and Amy soon joined the happy buzz of chatter, and holiday farewells were said. 

 When it was time for him to leave, Sirius and James helped Remus carry his trunk to the car. Peter had already left with his parents, and the girls had withdrawn, waving cheerily. After stowing away his trunk in the boot, Remus collapsed on the backseat, followed by cries of "See you Monday Remus!" from the two dark-haired boys. The car pulled away slowly, while the hot midday sun beat down on the world, inspiring hope and happiness in the hearts of everyone. 

*

 The young werewolf fell back onto his bed, breathing in the familiar smell of house and home. Feeling tired, he reflected on the car journey. His parents seemed somehow different. Happy. Not as stressed as they used to be. His mother's face had been glowing, and his father's eyes had been smiling and open, holding none of their usual concern. He did not know that they had noticed similar differences in him. The fact that, although he was still not loud or rowdy, his quietness was not that of a miserable person covering up, but of a reasonably content person who likes to listen. The fact that his eyes were no longer empty, but filled with sunshine and laughter. And that was why they were happy.

 He reached instinctively for the old, cloth-bound book that he always kept by his bed, clutching it to his chest. Next year he might take it to Hogwarts. He had missed it. He had missed its old, yellowing pages, its musty, leathery smell, and most of all, the words. Remus loved words. To him they seemed like precious jewels glittering elusively, like shining waterfalls and shimmering veils of mist, like dear friends he had always known. 

 Dear friends. Yes. James and Sirius and Peter were his friends now. But he still loved the words. He wondered if anyone would ever replace them completely, but it was impossible to tell. A while ago he would have said no, but things had changed. Perhaps he would simply find a whole new place in his heart, where people could be. Yes, perhaps. The boys liked him. Since he had met them they had been there for him. They stood behind him when he was unsteady. They cheered him up when he felt sad. They were bright and vibrant and real. 

 James was steady and fun, and at times revealed an uncanny wisdom for his years, as if his future self was watching from behind his dark eyes. 

 Peter was light-hearted and cheerful, with that occasional flash of insight that never failed to surprise most people, although Remus would just smile inside, and remind himself of the day they had been sorted.

 And then there was Sirius, always around, grinning as his deep-blue eyes sparkled, cracking jokes and playing pranks. And he made Remus feel safe; he made him feel at home.

 And it was when he was with the boys that the wolf in Remus seemed furthest away, when it seemed like he was normal, when he almost forgot. And then he was happy, but the wolf would get jealous. It wanted friends too. It wanted to be free. It wanted to run and jump and shout, to feel the wind blow back its ears and ruffle its fur, to be with a pack.

 Remus thought about that full moon, the time when the boys had found him in the hospital wing. He couldn't remember having such a bad transformation before. He had ached for week, remaining quiet and subdued, constantly reminded of what he was by the scars that laced his pale skin, while the worry that the wolf would get out gnawed at his mind.

 He turned his head against the crisp white linen, soft on his face, dispelling the unwelcome thoughts and soothing him. He smiled. In three day's time he would be with his friends, having fun. The full moon had been just two days and nights before the end of school, so although he would have to leave a few days before the other two, he could still enjoy a three-week holiday with them. 

*

 That night he fell asleep, book held to his heart, thinking of friendship and all that it entailed.


	7. Marauders

Chapter 7 – Marauders

**Disclaimer: I own the plot, the whole plot and nothing but the plot.**

***

 Excitement coursed through Remus' veins as he sat with one hand pressed up against the glass of the window while the Lupin family car sped toward the abode of James Potter. At his side was a small suitcase, the interior of which was magically expanded and packed full of everything that he would need to last him until August 10th, only a day and a night before the full moon. But that was almost three weeks away, and a lot of fun could be had in in-between. 

 "How far to go now, dad?" Remus asked, not really minding if it took all day, because looking forward to nice things was almost as good as experiencing them. 

 "Almost there, Rem," replied his father, a smile in his voice. 

 Sure enough it was not long before they were turning off the quiet road onto a gravelled driveway, and a good-sized pleasant-looking redbrick house was before them. A large lawn dotted with trees and bushes and flowerbeds surrounded it, somehow managing to not look posh, but merely inviting and friendly as the sun cast a golden light over it all. Remus' heart leapt as three boys came running around the side of the house, waving madly. The car stopped in front of the house, and as his friends came racing up the young werewolf climbed slowly out, smiling. He was at once enveloped in a cloud of greetings and dragged towards the front door by Sirius and Peter, James being the only one to remember Remus' parents. 

 The party of six were cheerfully greeted by Daniel and Sarah Potter, and duly led inside the house. Remus liked James' parents. Daniel looked somewhat like his son; tall with dark messy hair, but he had no glasses and his kind eyes were blue. Sarah had long chestnut hair, the same expressive brown eyes as James and a generous smile. They seemed to be getting on very well with Amélie and Jacques Lupin, so the boys took themselves off outside to plan the activities of the next three weeks.

*

 The laughter of children rang in the air as Jacques and Amélie Lupin stepped out of the house hand in hand, and to their ears it was the sweetest music, like voices of silver and gold on the wind. In the soft fire of the setting sun they saw their son stretched out on the lawn with his friends, a picture of childish beauty and happiness. 

 "He looks like Romule…" she remarked softly, her tongue lovingly caressing the long disused name, longing to break into the language it belonged to.

 "Yes," her husband replied sadly, "just like him, before things changed." He stood still for a moment, a strange expression on his face. Then he shook his head slightly, as if to cast off an unwelcome thought. 

 "I am glad to see him smile again," he said finally, "it is long since he laughed as a boy should." 

*

 Remus awoke and found himself staring at an unfamiliar, pale blue ceiling. He lay still, revelling in the warmth and comfort of the soft bed and pillows, reluctant to move, knowing by the sound of the regular breathing filling the room that the other boys were still asleep. He smiled contentedly and stretched luxuriously, before rolling over onto his side and reaching for the book on the table beside the bed. He turned to the page he had been reading the previous evening, marked with a golden autumn leaf that he had found in the Hogwarts grounds in October. He had seen it early one morning as he limped back from the Whomping Willow with Poppy Pomphrey, just as the sun's first rays penetrated the trees and touched the dewy grass. It had drifted down before him, and the dawning light had glanced off it, causing it to glow gold, and its delicate veins to gleam like liquid fire. He had stepped forward and put out his hand to catch it, but he recoiled in pain at its touch, the tender flesh of his fingers scorched. He stared at it as it settled on the ground, before bending down and tentatively putting out a hand. It was cool under his fingertips, and perfectly normal, like any leaf. But Remus never forgot the magic of its beauty, nor the fire of its touch, and kept it for many years. 

 He shivered at the thought of the full moon, feeling suddenly sick with fear at the thought of his companions finding out his secret. He turned his head to look at them – James on his stomach, looking sombre in sleep, Sirius, one arm thrown abroad, with curly hair tousled and breathing deep, Peter, curled up in a ball snoring, and he suddenly felt like crying. Inside him rose a deep longing which he had always ignored; a wish to be normal, to fit in, and to never experience the soul-wrenching pain of another transformation. He felt viciously jealous of the boys sleeping so peacefully near him, unaware that such torment even existed, blissfully ignorant of the terror Remus lived. 

 But then James stirred and awoke, and the young werewolf quickly turned his face in shame, terrified that the bigger boy would look up and read the terrible thoughts in his heart. 

*

 Remus hesitated at the edge of the lake, enjoying the warmth of the sun on his shoulders, unwilling to part with his clothing, now seriously regretting agreeing to James proposition at the breakfast table of going for a swim. The other boys had already thrown of their t-shirts and shinnied out of their shorts, and now they were happily splashing about in the sun-dappled water, droplets flying around them like golden rain.

 "Come on Rem!" called Sirius, "what's taking you so long?"

"I can't swim!" Remus finally blurted out unhappily, feeling his cheeks go hot with embarrassment. 

 "You can't _swim?_" yelped the other boy, startled into an incredulous exclamation. 

 The young wizard shook his head miserably. 

 "Well never mind," said James quickly, "we'll teach you!"

 "Of course," added Sirius, "have you ever been swimming at all?" 

 Before long the three boys had Remus in the water, teaching him to float on his back.

 The afternoon slipped away in this fashion, and Remus' initial fear and embarrassment disappeared completely. By the time the shadows began to fall long between the trees, he could even swim a few yards on his own. 

 "We really should get a name for ourselves," said Sirius that night, as he lay on his back with his hands behind his head, "something that suits us, and what we do."

 "Yes," agreed James, looking thoughtful, "I'll put my mind to it."

  Remus just smiled into his pillow, wonderfully happy just because he had someone to have a name with. He slipped contentedly into sleep, and dreamt of exploring the Hogwarts grounds with his friends, showing them the shack on the hill, and then running free with them, below the full moon.

*

 The next few days followed a similar pattern; the boys would get up at nine or ten, eat a hurried breakfast, and run off to play. After a large lunch provided by Sarah they would make their way to the lake, and pass the afternoon in cheerful activity. Often James, Sirius and Peter would swim out to a small, stony island roughly in the middle of the lake, about 400 meters from the shore. It could not have been more than five meters wide, rocky, but a perfect place for sunbathing. Remus didn't think he could make it, and so he would stay under the trees by the lake, immersed in a book.

 Evenings would be spent languidly; full and content from delicious suppers they would perhaps lounge around the fire, watching muggle television, or lie outside in the evening light, or be taken to the muggle cinema in the town. One Saturday, Daniel and Sarah took them to a huge muggle theme park called Alton Towers. Remus had never been anywhere like it, and revelled in all the new experiences. He went on all the brain-curdling rides with the other boys, enjoying them mainly because they were different to anything else he'd ever felt, and because Sirius and James loved them so much. He ate the expected amounts of pizza, fries and doughnuts, and was consequentially sick after riding the spinning teacups. As the roller coasters rolled and the passengers screamed, Remus clung to Sirius' hand, purely for the reasons a small child will hold onto his or her companion, because it is something to anchor them to reality, uniting them against the world. The day passed in a happy daze, and not once did Remus have to remember that he was different, that there was an eternal barrier between him and the other children. 

 "Gentlemen, I have just had a brainwave!" exclaimed James, sitting bolt upright, as the boys lay awake in bed that night, content and exhausted. 

 "Oh no," Sirius groaned sleepily, covering his head with his pillow, "I _hate _it when you get these ideas!" 

 "Do you want to hear it or not?" Said James, looking somewhat disgruntled.

 "No, go ahead James," Soothed Remus quickly. 

 "Go on James!" Pete chimed, his pale blue eyes glinting in the dark.

 "The Marauders!" he fairly sang, with a flourish. 

 "What? Who?" said a now wide-awake Sirius, looking interested despite himself. 

 "Us! The Marauders! We maraud, don't we? We're always exploring and stuff! You said we needed a name."

 "James," said Sirius in awe, "You are brilliant. I take everything back, you are the master!"

 "Cool," squeaked Peter, "the Marauders. Us! That's great!"

 Eyes sparkling with triumph, James turned to Remus. "Well, what do you think Rem?" he demanded, "do you like it?"

 The young werewolf surprised them all by grinning widely. He had never produced anything other than a strange, rusty smile before. He drew a deep breath. "Its perfect." 

***

 **Well dears, I hope you liked it! Sorry if there isn't much that happened. I wanted to make the next part one whole chapter with this, but it started to get too long, so look out for the next instalment, entitled 'Revelations.' Bit of a clue, huh? Do let me know if you like it, please! Even if you have reviewed before. By the way, excuse any mistakes, because I don't have a beta. Anyone care to volunteer? By the way, I have been begged not to do slash, but I don't understand what it entails. Can someone define it for me? Thankyou so much for the encouraging reviews! It is greatly appreciated. **


	8. Very Important

Very Important

 **To all my lovely readers:**

 Thank you so much to those of you who have reviewed. It has helped me a lot. Thanks also for all the helpful suggestions and comments, a critique is always MOST welcome! 

 In reply to some questions, I suppose yes, this is slash. NOT porn of course, the rating gives that away, but there will be guys kissing and stuff, though it may not be for quite some time. They are only kids! By the way, I'm impressed that some of you noticed the reference to the Wolf twin story! Well done! By the way, yes, I did make up the Sorting Hat song! :oD 

 Someone mentioned that they didn't think that Peter would be brave. Well, he was in Gryffindor, wasn't he? The sorting hat obviously saw something in him. The way I see it, is that he was nice, and he did have his own brand of bravery. But jealousy and hate corrupted him. You shall see! I have much in store for young Peter. He shall not go unscathed while I can lift my pen (or my laptop, as the case may be.)

 And now I must ask a question of you all. I have been thinking about this for a while, and I have come to the decision that I would like to rewrite this story, and improve it. Of course, I cannot do this without your permission! I would just like to go back and say more. I am not yet sure whether I will just revise each chapter, or whether I will start again. Or whether I shouldn't even bother! I would like you all to help me with this. I just feel in my hurry to develop the relationships and the discovery of Remus' condition I left out some very important things. I barely mentioned their first year at Hogwarts, I have almost entirely left out magic, and I think I could do so much more with this! Do you think you can all let me know what you think? What suggestions do you have? In your opinion, is this a terrible idea? Let me know, either by email or review. Thank you! You guys are the best! 


	9. Equally Important, Yet Somewhat More Che...

Equally Important, Yet Somewhat More Cheerful

 Hello my dearest readers! I hope you are all well. This is just to say that I have a new ID on ff.net, and that is Sidra Elf. I have decided to completely rewrite The Forgotten Four, and even give it a new title. (Shooting the Moon. Can you spot the double entendre?) However, even though it is officially a different story, the theme and plot are the same, and I will be keeping a lot of material from TFF. So don't be disappointed that I will never finish this one, because the story will be improved and continued in Shooting the Moon. _Please_ do go and read it, _pwetty pwetty pwease? _I will cry if you don't. No really, I will! And of course, please review. A critique is most welcome! 

  Well, that's all folks! =D XxXxXxX


	10. AT LAST!

AT LAST

 Hello all! This is just to say that the first chapter of my new story is up. my new identity is Sidra elf and the story is called Shooting the Moon, but neither of these come up in searches, oddly enough. So just go to my favourite authors on this identity, and Sidra elf will be there. thanks! I hope you like it. 

 XxXxX


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